what does the bible say about how to deal with parents who have dementia

Honey New Hope,

I all the same remember the uncomfortable tension at Grandma Trierweiler's firm as she battled through the final stages of dementia. I was a immature adult in college, and it was the showtime time I had witnessed the pregnant wellness turn down of a family member and the impact information technology had on the family unit. Anyone who has experienced the life-altering challenges of caring for aging parents, especially the elderly with memory loss, knows the rapid change of emotions, from impatience to sorrow to exhaustion to anger. Instead of placing Grandma in an assisted living domicile, my parents relocated and moved into Grandma's old farmhouse to provide around-the-clock supervision and support. This aging German adult female who one time baked homemade bread, plucked chickens, swept out the barn, whipped her 10 children into shape, and changed catheters on her disabled son now stared into the room with a confused look. She was unable to course thoughts, put sentences together, or identify family unit members. She would leave the burner on, put the milk abroad in the cupboard, and, at times, non know how to pull her pants down to use the restroom. There were cursory moments when the sparkle in her eyes would return for a moment of clarity, but for the virtually part, Grandma Trierweiler was completely dependent on others for survival.

Ask anyone who has provided intendance for aging parents and they will quickly place a number of issues that caretakers face. They often make extraordinary sacrifices to care for parents. Their life is completely contradistinct. Their time is no longer their own. Their schedule is put on hold. Vacations get impossible. Even unproblematic tasks like shopping or going out to dinner become a huge challenge. Just as a newborn infant requires time, attention, and supervision, often, when an crumbling parent reaches the end of life, they need the same oversight that a toddler would crave. Caretakers know this all also well: Everything in life begins to revolve around mom or dad.

Caretakers also feel painful challenges to their own human being middle. One man talked about the extraordinary patience required to intendance for his elderly mom. When an aging parent asks the aforementioned question multiple times a day, is confused past the simplest of tasks, or can no longer recognize faces of family members, patience can run very thin in the home. Some caretakers respond with acrimony. Others with frustration. Afterward, a moving ridge of guilt will crash over the caretaker as they experience bedevilled about treating mom or dad with such insensitivity.

Additionally, there is the inevitable tension that rises among siblings over "who-should-do-what" and "who-should-pay-for-what" and "who-should-do-more." Equally parents age and require back up, it is mutual for arguments to occur amongst siblings over time management, medical expenses, liquidation of assets, or the dreaded conversation over long-term intendance. Glenn Ruffenach, in a Wall Street Periodical written report chosen "The Difficult Job of When to Stop an Older Driver," writes about how painful it was to revoke his mom's commuter's license. He admitted that doing so "was devastating for her and for us." None of these decisions, whether on health care or driving, are like shooting fish in a barrel to determine and they oft tear at the fabric of family unity.

Occasionally, adult children resort to "helicoptering" and watch their parents' every move, making them experience like prisoners in their ain abode. In a fascinating article called "Aging Parents Resist Helicopter Children," Clare Ansberry gave applied advice for adult children who wrestle with making decisions for their parents. Ansberry suggests that adult children demand to selection their battles advisedly when helping parents and ask "whether they are intervening for their parents' well-beingness or to alleviate their own worries." In other words, just because an aging parent may be stubborn nearly wearing hearing aids or have much longer to do simple chores, does not mean they are incompetent. If personal safety is at pale, of grade, developed children need to exercise care and wisdom. Simply not every crumbling parent is in demand of constant supervision. Quoting a Harvard psychologist, Ansberry writes, "If a parent fumbles with the key when trying to unlock a door, kids should be patient and wait, rather than grabbing the key and taking over. While you may be trying to be helpful, the message, deliberate or non, is that y'all are competent and the parent isn't." Patience, my friend. This is ane of the keys to caring for the elderly.

Who should provide care for crumbling parents?

This is the big social conundrum. Some people put their parents in an assisted living facility, which puts a strain on their parents' resources or creates a financial brunt upon surviving children. The Wall Street Journal recently posted an article titled "U.S. is Running Out of Caregivers." Quoting statistics such as "every day, 10,000 people plow 65" and by the year 2020 "in that location volition be 56 million people 65 and older," this article chosen attending to what they labeled as a "caregiving crunch" which is happening in our country. Whereas in the by, many families would provide intendance for their own family members, people are now resorting to long-term intendance professionals. And yet, some believe it is never appropriate to "put mom or dad in a dwelling house." I am not claiming Holy Spirit inspiration simply I do believe that care facilities can provide first-class support, especially in cases where the medical needs and supervision of the elderly far exceed the chapters of adult children. Adult children making that decision must remember not to abandon their elderly to social isolation. In an article chosen "The Loftier Health Toll of Social Isolation – and How to Cure it," David Blumenthal writes about how many elderly are living in social isolation, "substantially disconnected from other people and society in general." For adult children who experience that a care home is the best and safest place for an elderly parent, there however needs to exist the personal time commitment to visit mom or dad with an overflow of honey.

Some adult children are trying to fill the gap of social isolation by turning to robots. Yep, robots! In a technology commodity called "Robots and Chatbots Await Afterward the Elderly," Imani Moise writes virtually how people are using robots to assist aging parents with social interaction and medication reminders. With "nursing programs stretched thin," they are finding new ways to "run across the needs of a growing elderly population without overburdening the health system." And so robots are being used in a diverseness of ways, such as reminding people to have medications, providing digital companionship for the lonely, and even monitoring heartbeats.  It appears that "robotic assistants" are here to stay, but they will never be capable of replacing the elderly's demand for human-to-human contact.

In many cases, family unit members are still putting their life on concur to give care and support to elderly parents. In another article by Ansberry titled "The Millennial Caregiver," she cites that "as the state grows older, its caregivers are growing younger and more squeezed. Millennials now make upward 24% of the nation's unpaid caregivers." In other words, with life expectancy on the ascension, information technology is increasingly common for grandchildren to provide care for grandma and grandad. Families are all the same caring for families. Investments are however beingness made to support the family unit. This is laudable.

What does the Scripture say about caring for aging parents?

The Scripture is not silent on this issue. When Paul writes to Timothy, he takes time to specifically address the practical issues of families providing care for elderly members. Aye, out of biblical theology comes the practical realities of "how to intendance for aging parents." Paul does not give many specifics, but these three verses should help inform our theology and exercise on this effect:

• Caring for crumbling parents is correct and pleases the Lord. i Timothy 5:four "But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them showtime learn to prove godliness to their own household and to brand some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God." At that place is the Millennials called to action! Merely every bit a parent, at i fourth dimension, cared for every need of an infant child, so also it is right and proper for developed child or grandchildren to intendance for the elderly. In supporting the elderly, I love how Paul says that this makes "some return to their parents." After all the care parents gave to their children, children should look at it as returning the favor.
• Caring for aging parents is putting organized religion into practice. i Timothy 5:8 "Simply if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." This is a strong indictment on assertive children who stubbornly refuse to testify any care for parents. They refuse to brand fourth dimension sacrifices. They pass up to change their schedule. In arrogance, they are unconcerned virtually the social isolation or growing needs of the elderly. Paul is proverb that an developed kid who claims faith in Jesus has a biblical responsibility to consider the appropriate level of care and back up a parent needs. To flat out refuse or turn down giving care to aging parents is paramount to rejecting the faith.
• Caring for aging parents is kickoff the job of the family, not the church. ane Timothy v:16 "If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her intendance for them. Let the church non exist burdened, and so that it may care for those who are really widows." In other words, the church already has plenty burdens. The brunt of giving care to the elderly is primarily the responsibility of family members. When the elderly need help with medical support, resources, travel to doctor visits, liquidation of assets, meal preparation, and anything else, the first line of defense is the family unit unit. This is their calling. Yes, there are instances where the elderly have no family and need the support of the local church. Just, let us non overlook the fact that the family unit unit holds the primary position of supporting the elderly.

The United States may indeed exist running out of caregivers, just nigh parents take not run out of children. Grandma Trierweiler was blessed to accept children who provided intendance and to have a son similar my dad, who relocated and contradistinct his job to support Mathilda in her concluding days. May God give the states wisdom to navigate the challenges of an aging population and, ultimately, may nosotros exercise what is pleasing to the Lord.

You are loved,
Craig Trierweiler

mcdolecligh1957.blogspot.com

Source: https://newhope.cc/caring-aging-parents-biblical-perspective/

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